Sam starts daycare next week and I go back to work full time. It's been very hard for me knowing this. We went back and forth if I should take an extra week at home working part time, but I would have no help since Rob has to be at the office. When Sam is good and sleeping, it's easy for me to work, but when he's fussing, it's very hard by myself. In the end, it's not worth the extra negative stress. Sam will be in awesome hands, getting all the love and attention he needs. And when I get home, I will get to give him all the love I've been storing up for him. I cannot feel guilty, that's one thing that as a mother I cannot fall into.
He's becoming a bit more independent. A couple days ago he was fussy and actually did not want to be held. He just laid down looking around. He likes hanging out in his swing more too. I love when he's just chilling and looking around. Watching his eyes taking in the world. We even sat outside one day and he was so content and quiet.
He's also starting to do the Cry at night. I'm so glad I read Happiest Baby on the Block and our Bradley instructor gave us an article that summarizes it which I had Rob read. Once you understand the 4th Trimester concept, the Cry isn't so scary. I knew it would happen and the thing that sucks is, Rob is dealing with him when he's like that. Rob's "making" me go bed early lately so I can have some uninterrupted sleep and orders me back upstairs if I try coming down. I did suggest to Rob to give Sam a bath and last night there was no crying. In fact he ate and took a bath and fell asleep right away for almost 3 hours, 4 hours between feedings. Woah.
I go for my postpartum check up later. I can't wait to get the ok to be able to start exercising again. To do yoga! I think it'll also help me mentally since my body is tired of sitting on the couch, a chair and in bed all the time and it's making a bit irritated. 'Specially when the weather is awesome, sunny and warm. And I just can't wait to start easing into my old clothes. Thankfully summer is almost here and most of my summer clothes are loose fitting.
Another thing I'm trying to do is go easy on myself and not feel I need to do everything. The other day I got so stressed because I didn't finish putting away Sam's clothes, clean the litter box, pump and put away my own clothes. Not good to feel like that, 'specially when I'm tired. So I made a to-do list where I list all the little nit picky things I need to do and allow myself to do just one thing on that list a day. If I do more, great, if not, there's always the next day. I also need to let myself ask Rob to do somethings because he totally will. No...I don't have any control issues, heh.